May 2009
1 post
May 6th
May 1st
April 2009
55 posts
Apr 29th
Apr 29th
Apr 29th
Listenhipstertracks: Iron and Wine - Sacred Vision
Apr 28th
Apr 28th
FMyLife of the Day
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, “AH, AH, AH…” and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there’s snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML. HAHAHA oh man. Sorry Snotface
Apr 27th
Apr 27th
Apr 23rd
My Amazing Friends
Bryan: I’m the smartest person ever Me: Yeah ok. Bryan: No really, they did a test.
Apr 21st
Apr 19th
Apr 19th
Listenhipstertracks: Das Pop - Underground
Apr 17th
Apr 17th
FMyLife of the Day
Today, I was at the aquarium with my boyfriend. I ran to my favorite section: the petting section and started petting a sea slug. My boyfriend eventually came up next to me and I jokingly told him “this feels a lot like your cock.” When I turned to him, it was a random 10 year old boy. FML. Sorry 808VBallGirl.
Apr 16th
Apr 15th
Apr 15th
Apr 14th
Apr 14th
Listenhipstertracks: The Fashion - Solo Impala
Apr 14th
8 notes
FMyLife of the Day
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said “Mom, that lady has really big boobs!” The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML. Sorry Shizzy09.
Apr 14th
Apr 14th
Apr 14th
Apr 13th
Listenhipstertracks: The Kooks - Young Folks (Peter...
Apr 13th
Apr 13th
FMyLife of the Day
Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and proceeded to blow on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML. Sorry Anonymous.
Apr 13th
Apr 11th
FMyLife of the Day
Today, brand new cocktail dress: 300$. Matching peep toe heels: 100$ Getting my hair done at the salon: 80$. Treating myself to a Mani/Pedi: 50$. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin, Priceless. FML Sorry Anonymous.
Apr 11th
Apr 11th
Apr 10th
Apr 10th
Apr 10th
My Amazing Friends
Eric: My pants are so amazing that you are gonna want them on your floor. OH!
Apr 10th
“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in...”
– Bob Dylan
Apr 10th
Apr 10th
Apr 10th
Apr 10th
Apr 10th
Apr 10th
Apr 10th
Listenhipstertracks: gondorsky: Fleet Foxes - Tinger...
Apr 10th
46 notes
FMyLife of the Day
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The TV was on with the volume low, as we had been too preoccupied to turn it off. All of the sudden, my boyfriend stopped mid-thrust. He was watching the TV. House was on. My boyfriend stopped to watch the differential diagnosis. FML. Sorry Anonymous, but I would probably do the same…
Apr 10th
“What about little microphones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played...”
– Jonathan Safran Foer. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Apr 9th
Apr 9th
Apr 9th
Apr 9th
Apr 9th
FMyLife of the Day
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML Sorry StevieMe.
Apr 9th